Sunday, March 5, 2017

A Mom's Nineveh 90: Week 3 Reflection

Today ends the third week of A Mom's Nineveh 90. I'm not even sure why I'm reflecting on the week. It was a big FAIL as far as the checklist of goals. Wait, it was just a big fail. I won't lie. It was a difficult week.

Goals vs. Reality

  • Monthly Confession - Yeah, I didn't get in before Lent started. How is that kids get a day of "I don't feel good" but they can still play and jump around while I'm on the couch for four days as if I have the flu when it's only a "simple" virus? Anyhow, I spent the second half of the week knowing I should go but finding all kinds of excuses not to. Today, I am happy to say I went after Mass. Isn't that Sacrament just amazing? How easy it is to forget how much God loves you and wants to forgive you.
  • Accountability Partner & Group (my facebook group) - This could have been better. I was having a pity party this week and didn't utilize the group as I should have. 
  • Food (no fasting because I'm sticking to the AIP diet - no cheating!) - I didn't change a darn thing, just ate what I wanted (when I was able - I was sick after all for half the week). I obviously cannot eat what I want and certainly not whenever I want. I definitely need a big push with this. I know I can't handle full AIP as much I want so I really just have to bite the bullet and get the big ones out of my diet (dairy - I'm sobbing, legumes - eh, I don't much care but it means greater vigilance for all the hidden soy, and eggs which again, isn't a big deal but more pre-thought for some gluten-free items).
  • Music - Eh, I played some Godly music and I played some dancing music. The kids and I have fun dancing around the living room. Any suggestions for Godly dancing music?
  • TV - I watched TV. I did. I was sick. Reading was tiring. So was lying there. So I watched.
  • The Computer - So easy when sick. Still, the phone game. I have this one game I just play when I need something to do but my mind is a mess. I play too much. What's that say about my mind?
  • Sleep... All over the place with being sick. Have felt wired the past few nights leading to sleepy days. Feels like this is never going to be a steady or easy thing to fix.
  • Exercise - Bleh. Granted, I was sick and so very tired for most of the week. But even the thought of it caused ugly feelings to arise. (It really was a rough week - physically, mentally, and spiritually.)
  • Prayer/Reflection - I'm a broken record. Failed it. Know when you get behind and quitting seems more appealing than going on? That's how I felt about prayer this week. As if I could just simply stop praying. Ridiculous. More on prayer below. I also put aside The Screwtape Letters for my Lenten reading: Divine Mercy for Moms: Sharing the Lessons of St. Faustina by Michele Faehnle and Emily Jaminet and also picked back up The Diary of St. Faustina. I read this in snippets until something just screams at me. Sometimes I can read a few passages until this happens but it's usually only ever a few sentences. It takes me a LONG time to get through this book.

Yep, the week was not better than last. In fact, it was worse. Thankfully, one can only pity oneself for so long before disgust sets in. I'm so glad I went to confession. If I hadn't... This coming week might have been as ugly. I need to pray for an increase in the virtue of obedience.

A Thought from the Week...

In Confession, the priest suggested something so simple to me: just be with Jesus every day. Life is busy, and even our prayers can add to that busyness. He said to just sit and be in His presence, to just listen, that some days I may not get to pray or do as I like, but it isn't about us, is it? I should just sit with Him and go to Mass, no matter how I feel.

This suggestion isn't anything new. Why then is it so easy to forget, so easy to not do some days?

That's one reason why I created this group instead of following the original Nineveh 90. I wanted it to be about the journey, not necessarily a list of to-dos. Not that a list can't help us with discipline and obedience. But sometimes you have to chuck the list and just listen to what He's calling you to do.

"Make known to me your ways, O Lord;
teach me your paths.

"Guide me by your fidelity and teach me,
for you are God my savior,
for you I wait all the day long.

"Remember your compassion and your mercy, O Lord, 
for they are ages old.

"Remember no more the sins of my youth;
remember me according to your mercy,
because of your goodness, Lord."

Psalms 25:4-7

1 comment:

Thank you for stopping by. I love to chat. God bless!