Saturday, January 25, 2014

Saturday Morning Reflection (14): why I'm still here and other random thoughts

See our Christmas tree propped in a sheltered corner? 
We put treats on there for the birds and animals.

It says too much, I think, when one wakes up just after nine, dragging and hurting and actually wanting to make a cup of coffee. I really do not like coffee but I find that if I have a cup when I find it hard to move or starting in on a headache sometimes helps.

I see the doctor for a follow-up on Friday for our next round of "what the heck is wrong with Nicole" as the breathing issues have eased up but other, equally vague symptoms have come on. I feel like a walking hypochondriac. It's more than annoying. Still, until I didn't feel well this week, we had a really good one!

Our daily schedule Monday and Tuesday were about near to perfection as a homeschool day can ask for. The kids were eager to learn (ok, I may have had one procrastinator on Monday), meals went smoothly, chores too, and I felt very on top of things. I love that feeling. Too bad it rarely happens, right?

Wednesday I felt icky on waking and knew we had to get out of the house, especially after being stuck inside between weather and illness pretty much since New Year's. Thankfully the main roads were mostly clear and I took the kids to a new library. After, we stopped in to visit with my parents, eat lunch, and check up on things.

That night, the boys and I had CCD. The sixth graders talked about the story of Isaac and his sons, Esau and Jacob. Is anyone else bothered by this story? I mean, before they were born, God had chosen Jacob over Esau, and yet, both his mother and Jacob felt the need to use lies and trickery to win over Isaac's blessing. They did not trust in God at all it seems. I am always bothered by this story, start to feel high and mighty, and then I come crashing down as I realize, "yeah, Nicole, how often do you place your trust in God?" I mean, I try to, but it's hard, right? It's hard to let go, to trust, to admit you have no control whatsoever.

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My grandparents host an annual woodcarving show every year during the first weekend of February (the first show took place long before that became Super Bowl weekend). I have helped out nearly every single year. The ones I missed were due to pregnancy/new babies. My mom has encouraged me to woodburn and display some items, but it is difficult to find time to burn. No more. I need to find time. I love it. It is a creative hobby, and a relaxing one. Since my dad is cutting up a cedar log, she thrust some thin medallions my way to turn into Christmas ornaments:



I also want to do another portrait. Doing a saint popped in my head, but no one saint came to mind. I decided to google saint holy card images, and immediately was drawn to this saint:


I had no idea who she was (St. Philomena). Anyone know of her?

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I asked my husband to take a picture of me the other day. I thought to update my Facebook image, which I haven't done yet. Who says you need to age on Facebook anyway? My husband calls this the hero shot.


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So why am I still blogging here? While I do love seeing the few, frequent visitors who comment, that is not the main reason I blog. I have thought much about the why recently, especially with so many other bloggers asking, "Why do I blog?" I keep this space open for me. It is the only place, outside of my head anyway, that I can be completely me. And right now that means completely Catholic. I cannot even be this 100% in my own home, and that is extremely difficult. Extremely. Here, though, I have readers who are Catholic, who live it, who are moms homeschooling their kids, who get it. And that's wonderful and beautiful. So I stay in a space where I am free to talk and to share.

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So, this week will be pretty busy. I sure hope we don't miss Mass, but with the weather... it's a possibility. This darn winter I have missed more Mass than I have in a long while thanks to weather and illness. I do not like! 

In addition to school and daily life, we will help my parents get ready for the woodcarving show, and I will be wood burning! And... a certain little boy will turn 7 on Thursday!

A few parting shots. One, I just love when cats put a paw over their eyes.


And, one for boys who are growing up way too fast!


Until next time, God bless!

2 comments:

  1. Oh, Nicole, you are so pretty!!

    I get it. That's why I have not quit blogging. It's a place where it's "Jamie" The real me. Not the impatient me...the happy me.

    Does that make sense?

    Those carvings are amazing!! Wow, you are so talented!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Jamie. :) You make complete sense. And, not carvings, woodburnings, kind of like drawing with heat. Goodness knows I've tried my hand at wood carving and it is just not for me. I love the end result though!

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